Here’s the honest truth: I-95 carries too much. It’s not just your commute; it’s the nation’s grocery delivery, Amazon prime, and Amazon returns. Trucks, cars, RVs, and that one guy on a motorcycle weaving at 100 mph.
When one thing goes wrong—a blown tire, a spilled load of oranges—everything cascades. It’s like a game of Jenga, but the tower is made of cars and your patience is the table. One wiggle, and it all crashes down.
So next time you see “I-95 North Closed for Accident” on your phone, take a breath. Grab that stale granola bar from your glovebox. You’re not just in traffic. You’re participating in a massive, unplanned social experiment.
And honestly? You’re not alone. There are thousands of people right next to you, all wondering the same thing: “Why is 95 North shut down? And can I pee behind this bush without anyone seeing?”
The answer is always the same: because it feels like it. Pull up a podcast, honk sarcastically at a trucker, and embrace the chaos. It’ll open eventually. Maybe. Probably. Okay, hopefully by next Tuesday.
