First, stock your freezer with ice cream. Yes, it’s ironic, but you’ll need a treat to soothe your nerves when someone gets a 3.5 from the judges. Second, clear your Sunday evening schedule. This is not a show you can just ‘pop on while folding laundry’. You will miss a glittery fall and regret it forever.
Third, gather your friends for a text-based commentary. The show is best experienced with someone who can say, “Did they just do a Snoop Dogg impression or is that a pelvic injury?” This is bonding. This is connection.
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The cruelest part: The skate-off
Every week, someone gets eliminated. The skate-off is the worst part of the show. Two exhausted, tearful celebrities have to perform again, knowing one of them is going home. It’s like watching your two high school friends fight over the last slice of pizza. You love both, but you know one has to lose.
And the public vote? Forget logic. The public will save the funny bloke who can barely stand over the professional skater every single time. It’s democracy at its best and most ridiculous. “I voted for him because he fell on his face and looked cute!” — that’s the spirit.