Here’s the thing: poking has a hidden etiquette society nobody talks about. First rule: never poke your boss. Unless your goal is to sit through an awkward performance review where they ask, “So, about that digital jab… is everything okay?” Second rule: poking your ex is a declaration of war. You’ll wake up to 12 pokes, a passive-aggressive comment about your new haircut, and a friend request from their mom.
Also, never poke someone on their birthday. That’s just lazy. Buy them a dollar e-card like a normal person. And for the love of Zuckerberg, don’t poke a random person you met once at a conference. Unless you want to end up on a Facebook group called “Creepy Pokers Anonymous.”
What If You Get a Poke from a Stranger?
Ah, the wildcard. A stranger pokes you, and suddenly you’re in a psychological thriller. What do they want? Are they a bot? A prince from Nigeria? A spy? Here’s the only logical response: look at their profile. If it’s full of minion memes and motivational quotes about “hustle culture,” run. If it’s just a picture of a dog with a philosopher vibe, consider poking back. Life is short. You might make a weird, beautiful friend.
