Lava, for those who don't know, is molten rock that comes out of volcanoes, and it's scorching hot - we're talking temperatures of up to 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit (1,093 degrees Celsius). That's hotter than your coffee after a fresh brew, and much hotter than your boss's temper when you're late for work.
Now, if you were to eat lava (which, again, is a terrible idea), it would essentially be like eating a molten, glowing rock. The heat would cause your mouth, throat, and digestive tract to, shall we say, have a very bad day - and that's putting it mildly.
Your teeth would likely vaporize instantly, and your taste buds would be like, "Peace out, we're outta here!" The heat would also cause your skin to literally melt, like the wicked witch of the west - but, you know, without the dramatic music and flying monkeys.
