First, never trust a chain that puts “house” in its name. It implies a home. You’re not at home. You’re eating noodles from a bag.
Second, if you’re employee #101, update your LinkedIn now. Also, change your profile picture to a crying spaghetti emoji. It’s a power move.
Third, and most important: RIP to the garlic bread. You were the only good thing. You deserved better.
I guess we’re heading to Olive Garden now
You know, the other faux-Italian place. The one with the neverending breadsticks. Subtle.
But let’s be honest—Olive Garden is the cop-out. Spaghetti House was the DIY version. You got what you paid for. Now it’s gone.
So raise a fork for the 101. May their next jobs have actual flavor. And may their pasta always be al dente. Forever.
P.S. If you were one of those 101, I’m sorry. But also, you now have a great story for parties. “I survived the Spaghetti House massacre.” Lean into it.
