Here’s the real joke: the closures are for "your safety." They’re fixing a pothole that’s been there since 1982. They’re upgrading a roundabout that worked perfectly fine. But hey, you’re not the boss of London. The boss is a man named Nigel who owns a high-visibility vest and a clipboard.
So this weekend, when you’re stuck behind a lorry carrying scaffolding, remember: you’re participating in a grand British tradition. It’s called getting absolutely nowhere and complaining about it with a stiff upper lip. God save the queue.
And if you see a road closed sign? Turn around. Turn around now. Save yourself. Or just park and cry. Either way, you’re part of London’s beautiful, broken traffic symphony.
