Police are urging anyone with information to call 101 or contact Crimestoppers. They’ve also given out a reference number: CAD 4319/13Feb. It sounds like a secret code from a spy movie, but it’s just a fancy way of saying “phone us, we have cookies.”
H&F invests £5.4m in CCTV network boost | London Borough of Hammersmith
If you were on that train, think hard. Did you see a man with a particularly aggressive way of holding the pole? Did someone accidentally make eye contact during that awkward tube silence? That could be our guy.
But here’s the thing—don’t be a hero. You’re not Liam Neeson. If you spot him, do not attempt a citizen’s arrest. Just take a photo (a good one, unlike the potato camera) and call the police. Leave the ass-kicking to the professionals.
The Unspoken Tube Rules You’ve Now Broken
Let’s end with a surprising fact: the London Underground has a “Code of Conduct” that’s 28 pages long. Yes, 28 pages of rules for taking a train. Somewhere in there, it probably says “thou shalt not pummel thy fellow passenger.”
But also, did you know that the Hammersmith station is one of the oldest tube stations in the world, opening in 1864? That means people have been getting assaulted there—or at least mildly annoyed—for over 160 years. History, folks. It’s alive and well, with an undercut and bad attitude.
So, keep your eyes peeled, your wits about you, and if you see a man fitting that cryptic description, do the right thing. And maybe, just maybe, ask Transport for London to upgrade their cameras. Because the next time I’m on the tube, I’d rather see a clear face than a pixelated ghost. Cheers.
