Paper is mostly cellulose, which is just plant fiber. You know, fiber! The stuff in celery and bran flakes that your grandma swore by?
Here’s the kicker: your body can’t actually digest cellulose. You lack the enzyme. So that paper? It’s going to waltz right through your digestive system like a tourist on vacation. Mostly unchanged.
That means it’s not toxic. A little bit won’t kill you. But eating a whole ream? That’s a recipe for a very uncomfortable afternoon. Think of it as a dense, dry sponge moving through a pipe.
But Wait—What About Ink and Bleach?
Ah, the sneaky part. Plain white paper often gets bleached with chlorine or other chemicals. Is it a microdose of bad stuff? Maybe. But your liver is a powerhouse—it handles way worse things.
Now, printed paper is a whole different monster. Printer ink often contains heavy metals like cadmium or lead. So unless you’re craving a side of heavy metal poisoning, do not eat your homework.
Newspaper ink is especially nasty. It’s made from petroleum and carbon black. Eating the funnies for the jokes? Cute idea. Eating the funnies for the fiber? Hard pass.
