Now walk into a grocery store. A gallon jug of store-brand purified water costs about $1.29. That’s a decent deal. But then you see a 24-pack of 12-ounce Dasani bottles. That pack costs $7.99. Do the math: a gallon from those bottles is about $3.80. You’re paying triple the price for the joy of opening tiny, frustrating plastic caps.
Here’s the kicker: that $7.99 pack of Dasani is mostly tap water. Dasani is filtered municipal water. So you are paying $7.99 for the same stuff that comes out of your toilet (assuming your toilet has clean water, which, let’s be honest, it does). The marketing team deserves a Nobel Prize.
How Many Water Bottles in a Gallon? Complete Guide
But the real villain is the single-serve plastic bottle aisle. That 8-pack of “spring water” for $4.49? That’s $2.24 per gallon. But the 12-pack of “alkaline water, pH 9.5, infused with Himalayan salt crystals and the tears of a happy goat” is $8.99. That works out to about $4.50 a gallon. For water that tastes slightly minerally. You’re being robbed by a glass bottle with a nice font.
The “What If You’re Drunk or Lazy?” Tax
Let’s talk convenience stores. You’re at 7-Eleven at 11 PM. You grab a 20-ounce Gatorade. That’s $2.99. That works out to $19.14 per gallon. For colored, sugary water that will make you pee neon. You could buy a nice steak for that price. Or a gallon of gas for your car. Or a gallon of actual water at the tap for 0.3 cents. You made a choice. I’m not judging, but your wallet is.
Even worse: a gallon of organic, cold-pressed, “raw” coconut water? That’s anywhere from $15 to $25 a gallon. That is water that used to be a nut. A nut that cost more than a pizza. The universe is laughing.
