Let’s be honest, Vernon didn’t just raise money. He raised the bar. He set a new standard for “doing a silly thing for charity.” Next year, someone is going to have to do a marathon while riding a unicycle and juggling chain saws just to compete.
He also raised our collective spirits. In a world that feels a bit heavy, watching a man achieve the impossible for the sake of others is cathartic. It’s a reminder that humans, at their core, are actually quite lovely—even if we do enjoy watching each other get exhausted on live telly.
So, the final verdict? Vernon Kay raised £5,289,418 for Children in Need. He ran 100 miles. He wore a costume that is now probably a biohazard. And he made us all feel like we could do a little bit more. Even if that “little bit more” is just putting a tenner in the bucket next time we see a bucket.
But hey, until next year, let’s all give a round of applause (and maybe an ibuprofen) to the man who ran further than most of us will ever walk. You absolute legend, Vernon. You’ve earned your tea. And probably a wheelchair.