When Messi moved to Inter Miami, everyone assumed he’d score a few goals, sip some sangria, and enjoy the beach. Instead, he decided to become the beach. He’s scored 11 goals in the MLS regular season so far, plus a handful in the Leagues Cup and U.S. Open Cup. That’s 11 goals in a league where defenders sometimes look like they’re running through wet cement. It’s almost unfair—like bringing a flamethrower to a candle-making competition.
But here’s the kicker: he’s also got 10 assists this year. That means he’s not just hogging the spotlight; he’s also handing out Oscar-worthy performances to his teammates. One game, he’ll dribble past four guys and score. The next, he’ll chip a pass so perfect that his striker actually blushes. It’s like watching a magic show where the rabbit keeps handing you carrots.
Argentina’s Little Giant: The International Haul
Now, let’s talk about his international goals. For Argentina this year, Messi has scored 7 goals in World Cup qualifiers and friendlies. That includes a brace against Peru where he made their defenders look like they were defending in slow motion. Honestly, those goals felt less like soccer and more like a father playing backyard football with his kids. “Alright, son, try to take the ball from me. Too slow! Goal!”
And let’s not forget the 2026 World Cup hangover. Most players would take a victory lap year. Messi took the victory lap, then decided to run another marathon. By October 2026, he had already scored 24 goals across all competitions, which is more than some players’ entire careers. And he’s 36 years old. At 36, I’m proud if I don’t pull a muscle opening a jar of pickles.
