Cooking a massive turkey is a rite of passage. It’s like climbing a culinary Mount Everest—with stuffing. You’ll feel powerful. You’ll feel like a pioneer. And when you nail it, you’ll earn bragging rights for the whole year.
Also, the internet loves turkey disasters. A lopsided bird. A smoking oven. A dog stealing the drumstick. Those moments become family legend. Embrace the chaos. A perfect turkey is boring. A slightly imperfect one is a story.
So, set your timer, pour a drink, and trust the process. Your 23-pound beast is just waiting to become a golden, juicy legend. You’ve got 4.5 to 5 hours. Go make it happen. And remember: when in doubt, add butter. Always butter.
