Once they’re off the grill, squeeze a little fresh lemon juice over them. The acid wakes up the flavor like a splash of cold water to the face. You can add some shaved Parmesan if you’re feeling fancy, but that’s optional—don’t hide the hero of the story.
Eat them with your fingers. This is important. It’s a primal experience, and it signals to everyone that you are the grill master who knows exactly how long to BBQ asparagus. You hold it by the woody end, bite off the tender part, and discard the stem like a Viking who has conquered a green kingdom.
So there you have it: 4 to 7 minutes, medium heat, a little oil, and a lot of pride. Go forth, fire up that grill, and remember: the only thing overcooked here should be my sense of humor.
