Want to be a lobster god? Follow these three rules. First, keep it cold. A cooler with ice packs (not direct ice—freshwater drowns them!) is perfect. Second, keep it wet. Wrap it in damp newspaper or seaweed.
Third, keep it still. Lobsters are jerks. They’ll try to escape. If they thrash, they burn energy and dry out faster. A dark, quiet fridge is a lobster’s paradise.
Funny detail: store them with their claws taped shut. They’ll pinch you just for looking at them wrong. You have been warned.
The "Prom Night" Trick
Ever seen a lobster in a grocery store tank? That’s the ideal setup. But if you’re transporting one, think of it like a very grumpy prom date. Keep it cool, calm, and comfortable. No loud music. No sudden moves.
And absolutely no leaving it in the car for an hour while you shop. That’s a death sentence. Car interiors hit 120°F in summer. That lobster will cook inside its own shell. Sad and stinky.
