If you’re cutting a lot of strawberries (like a whole flat for a party), use a mandoline slicer with the guard on. Do not, under any circumstances, use your bare hand to push a strawberry through a mandoline. I’m speaking from a hypothetical place of trauma. Your fingertips will thank you.
Never, ever cut strawberries on a wooden cutting board unless you enjoy the taste of woody strawberry and want to wash berry juice out of grain for three days. Use plastic or glass. Also, if you notice your strawberries are starting to grow fuzzy white mold, do not cut them. That’s not a science experiment; that’s a bad decision. Throw them out and accept the loss.
In the end, cutting a strawberry is a meditation. You are one with the berry. You respect its shape, its seeds, its tragic botanical identity crisis. And when you’re done, you get to eat a perfectly cut piece of red joy. If you screw it up? Who cares. Toss it in a smoothie. Nobody will know.
