Your best bet is to dress like you are going to a hospital for a very minor, non-contagious procedure. Wear pants with no pockets, or pockets so shallow that a nickel would fall out. Bring a clear fanny pack. Yes, you will look like a 1990s theme park attendee who gave up on life. Embrace it.
Another surprising fact: the policy has actually reduced the number of people sneaking in contraband by 30%. The other 70% are just sneaking in smaller, more creative contraband. I saw a man slide a burrito into his sock last year. Never underestimate a hungry Bulldog.
Finally, remember that the bag policy is not personal—it is a form of performance art. You are the audience, and the TSA-level security team is the star. Smile, hold your tiny clear bag high, and walk through the metal detector with the confidence of a man who knows he has no goat in his duffle bag. Go Dogs. Bring only your spirit and a credit card. You will need it for the $12 hot dog.
