Look, I am not the boss of you. If you want to eat a peanut shell, go for it. But please, don’t get upset when you get a stomach ache. The human body was not designed to process two-by-fours.
It’s a prank snack. It’s a dare. It’s the thing you do when you are five years old and your parents aren’t looking. As an adult, you have options. You have choices.
So next time you are staring at a pile of unshelled peanuts, remember: you are better than that. You are a sophisticated creature of the modern world. Use your fingers. Crack the nut. Eat the good part. Leave the shell in the bucket where it belongs.
Your tongue will thank you. Your dentist will thank you. And I, your imaginary coffee friend, will give you a very proud nod. Cheers.
