Sparkling water is just water with dissolved carbon dioxide. Over time, the CO₂ escapes through the plastic cap—plastic is porous!—leaving you with flat, sad water. That’s not expiration; that’s a betrayal of bubbles. Drink your sparkling water within a year, or you’re basically paying for disappointment.
So, here’s the final, very unscientific verdict from your café friend: Water doesn’t expire, but your bottle’s patience does. If you’re staring at a dusty water bottle and it’s been more than two years, do yourself a favor—use it to water a plant. The plant will forgive the plastic aftertaste. Your tongue might not.
And if you’re really worried about expiration, just remember: The water you drink today was probably part of a dinosaur’s lunch. That is both disgusting and awesome. So drink up, but maybe buy a fresh bottle—not because the water is bad, but because your taste buds deserve better than a sip of ancient Tupperware vibes. Now, go hydrate, you magnificent human.
