Let’s do some nerdy, buzz-killing math for a second. A standard cocktail has about 1.5 ounces of liquor. A good, homemade eggnog recipe often calls for a full cup of bourbon, rum, or brandy—or all three.
That’s over eight shots of booze hiding in a single pitcher. Divide that by four glasses, and you’re looking at two shots per serving. Drink two of those? You’ve just had four shots. Suddenly, your conversation with the rubber tree plant makes perfect sense.
The Cream Factor
Here’s where eggnog plays dirty. All that heavy cream and sugar coat your stomach lining. It slows down alcohol absorption, so you feel sober for a dangerously long time. You think, “This is fine. I’m sharp as a tack.”
Then it hits you. All at once. Like a freight train made of nutmeg and regret. You go from perfectly fine to wondering why the fireplace looks so cozy and why you’re crying about the Christmas lights.Boom. Drunk.
