If you’re eating it straight, add a crack of black pepper or a squeeze of lemon. That’s not fancy; that’s survival with panache. You can also mix in some hot sauce and pretend you’re on a tropical island, not your stained couch.
Want to feel like a god? Smash it on a cracker, add a slice of pickled jalapeño, and call it “tapas.” Congratulations—you just turned $1.50 into a cultural experience. The Spanish would be proud, or confused. Either way, you win.
The Fork vs. The Spoon Debate
Use a fork. Always. A spoon makes the tuna feel slimy and wrong, like eating pudding made of accusations. A fork gives you control and dignity. If you’re eating with chopsticks, you’re either a very sophisticated person or you lost all your forks in the divorce.
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