Here’s what you actually need to do. First, leave your bag in the car. Put your keys, phone, and ID in your pockets. Yes, men, this means you will have to wear pants with real pockets. It’s a daring look for a football game, I know. Women, invest in a running belt that hides your stuff under your jersey. You’ll look like a ninja, but a winning ninja.
Second, if you absolutely must have a bag, buy a clear one before you leave the house. Do not buy one from the guy outside the stadium for $30. That bag is made of regret and plastic wrap. He will be gone by halftime, and your bag will have a mysterious leak.
The Final, Brutal Truth
Cal Memorial Stadium’s bag policy is not your friend. It is a gatekeeper god, testing your obedience. But if you follow the rules, you’ll be rewarded with a seat, a hot dog, and the glorious sight of a football flying through the fog. Just don’t bring that giant, stylish purse. It’s not worth the drama. And for the love of all that is holy, empty your pockets of contraband snacks. No one needs a bag of trail mix to be your undoing.
Now go forth, be transparent, and Go Bears. But maybe skip the backpack.
