Let’s be honest—you don’t go to a place this fancy just for the chips. But the steak there? It’s the kind of steak that makes you question every sad, microwave-ready meal you’ve ever had. The fries are crisp enough to shame a bag of Walkers, and the cocktails arrive looking like they’ve been styled by a florist who moonlighted as a magician.
You’ll order something called a “Café de Paris Martini” and immediately feel 20% more sophisticated. It’s served in a glass so delicate you’ll hold it like a bomb, but one sip and you’ll forget the sky is grey outside. Just don’t ask how many calories are in it—ignorance is bliss, my friend.
London's Cafe De Paris closes its doors after 95 years as historic
The Entertainment: Live Shows That Don’t Feel Like Homework
Now, the real reason people flock here is the show. Imagine if a burlesque dancer and a circus acrobat had a baby who was raised by a jazz band. That’s the nightly performance. You’ll watch a woman twirl on a chandelier while a trumpet player hits notes that make your hair stand up, and you’ll think, “I’ve made terrible life choices, but right now, I’m winning.”
There’s a comedian who sometimes drops in and roasts the audience with the precision of a surgeon. If you sit near the front, prepare to be called out for checking your phone. It’s all in good fun, and by the end, you’ll be laughing so hard your sides hurt—and you’ll probably spill your £18 cocktail on your shirt. Worth it.
