Let’s talk about the petrol itself. Asda usually prides itself on being a budget supermarket, right? But their petrol here is a surprising underdog. Independent tests have shown Asda’s unleaded is often chemically identical to the premium stuff from Shell or BP. You are literally burning the same unicorn tears, but for about a fiver less.
Of course, the trade-off is the queue. The queue at Vallance Road is a legendary beast. I swear, Darwin’s theory of evolution was proven here—drivers have actually grown extra limbs just to reach the card machine from their driver’s side door. It’s a standoff of survival of the fittest, but with Fiestas.
The Local Wildlife
But the true entertainment is the clientele. Bethnal Green is a melting pot, and this forecourt is the melting pot’s most chaotic burner. You’ll see a man fill his Nissan Micra while arguing on speakerphone about a pigeon that owes him rent. Then, a Deliveroo rider will zip past balancing three pizzas and a look of absolute rage.
I once saw a woman ask the cashier if they sold birthday cards. The cashier, deadpan, pointed to a tower of engine oil. She bought the oil. That birthday party must have been wild. It’s the kind of place where logic goes to die, smiling.
ASDA petrol station - Haslucks Green Road, Shirley | Flickr
